You know what? If all we can get are criminals, then I'd rather not have the officers at all. I'll take my chances on my own with criminals rather than give the criminals badges. These are just not the kinds of people I want protecting and serving.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Downright scary!
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Sunday, May 04, 2008
I Scream for Ice Cream
It was one thing when the half gallon containers quietly became 1.75 quarts. But now, they're 1.5 gallons. One-fourth the product is gone! I'm only going to buy brands that still give me a full half gallon, like God intended.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
New Currency
For those of you who're planning a trip to Europe, new dollar bills are being printed for use abroad.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Spitzer Scandal
This just in -- Governor Eliot Spitzer (D-NY) has been caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet with a high-priced prostitute at a Washington hotel last month, according to a person briefed on the federal investigation.
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. My friends at Mercer couldn't be happier.
ETA: Thomas Sowell, as usual, makes the best points...
What was he thinking of? That was the first question that came to mind when the story of New York governor Eliot Spitzer's involvement with a prostitution ring was reported in the media. Many in the media refer to Eliot Spitzer as some moral hero who fell from grace. Spitzer was never a moral hero. He was an unscrupulous prosecutor who threw his power around to ruin people, even when he didn't have any case with which to convict them of anything. What Eliot Spitzer did was not out of character. It was completely in character for someone with the hubris that comes with the ability to misuse his power to make or break innocent people. After John Whitehead, former head of Goldman Sachs, wrote an op-ed column in the Wall Street Journal, criticizing Attorney General Spitzer's handling of a case involving Maurice Greenberg, Spitzer was quoted by Whitehead as saying: "I will be coming after you. You will pay the price. This is only the beginning and you will pay dearly for what you have done." When you start thinking of yourself as a little tin god, able to throw your weight around to bully people into silence, it is a sign of a sense of being exempt from the laws and social rules that apply to other people.
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. My friends at Mercer couldn't be happier.
ETA: Thomas Sowell, as usual, makes the best points...
What was he thinking of? That was the first question that came to mind when the story of New York governor Eliot Spitzer's involvement with a prostitution ring was reported in the media. Many in the media refer to Eliot Spitzer as some moral hero who fell from grace. Spitzer was never a moral hero. He was an unscrupulous prosecutor who threw his power around to ruin people, even when he didn't have any case with which to convict them of anything. What Eliot Spitzer did was not out of character. It was completely in character for someone with the hubris that comes with the ability to misuse his power to make or break innocent people. After John Whitehead, former head of Goldman Sachs, wrote an op-ed column in the Wall Street Journal, criticizing Attorney General Spitzer's handling of a case involving Maurice Greenberg, Spitzer was quoted by Whitehead as saying: "I will be coming after you. You will pay the price. This is only the beginning and you will pay dearly for what you have done." When you start thinking of yourself as a little tin god, able to throw your weight around to bully people into silence, it is a sign of a sense of being exempt from the laws and social rules that apply to other people.
Monday, February 25, 2008
How is this an "election"?
The news media has been widely reporting that Raul Castro "elected" to succeed his brother Fidel Castro as President of Cuba. However, that's not really what happened.
The ballot before the assembly was for 31 names for the top 31 positions in the country (not just President, but First Vice President, Assembly President, five Vice Presidents). The ballot contained only one name for each position. How is this an "election"?
Apparently, not only can the Cuban people not vote for their legislature (in the former Soviet Russia you were at least allowed to choose between two Communist Party members), but the supposed party leaders in that legislature can't vote either.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/02/24/america/cuba.php
The ballot before the assembly was for 31 names for the top 31 positions in the country (not just President, but First Vice President, Assembly President, five Vice Presidents). The ballot contained only one name for each position. How is this an "election"?
Apparently, not only can the Cuban people not vote for their legislature (in the former Soviet Russia you were at least allowed to choose between two Communist Party members), but the supposed party leaders in that legislature can't vote either.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/02/24/america/cuba.php
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The Dead Parrot - Monty Python
Mr. Praline : I wish to make a complaint!
Owner : (hurriedly) Sorry, we're closin' for lunch...!
Mr. Praline : Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot, what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner : Oh yes, the, ah, the Norwegian Blue... What's, ah... W-what's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline : I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Owner : No, no, 'e's ah... he's resting.
Mr. Praline : Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner : No no, h-he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!
Mr. Praline : Restin'?
Owner : Y-yeah, restin.' Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, isn't it, eh? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline : The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead!
Owner : Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline : All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up!(shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Polly! Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you wake up, Mr. Polly Parrot...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner : There, he moved!
Mr. Praline : No, he didn't, that was you pushing the cage!
Owner : I never!!
Mr. Praline : Yes, you did!
Owner : I never, never....
(Praline pulls the parrot out of the cage and screams into its ear.)
Mr. Praline : 'ELLO POLLAAAAAAAY! POLL-EE! POLLY PARROT! WAKE UP!(He bangs its head against the store counter, horribly hard.) TESTIIIING! TESTIIIING! THIS IS YOUR NINE-O' CLOCK ALARM CALL! (He does it again, harder.) POLL-EEEEEEE!(He tosses it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor. Longish pause.) Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner : No, no.... No, he's stunned.
Mr. Praline : STUNNED?
Owner : Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline : Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
Owner : Well, he's... he's, ah... probably pining for the fjords.
(Praline looks angrily back and forth, stuttering.)
Mr. Praline : PININ' for the FJORDS? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner : The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on its back! Remarkable bird, isn't it, guv, eh? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline : (coldly) Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner : Well, of course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its little pecker, and VOOM!
Mr. Praline : "VOOM?"(Praline puts the cage down and take the parrot into his hands.) Look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
Owner : It's not! I-It's pining!
Mr. Praline : It's not pinin,' it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he would be pushing up the daisies! Its metabolical processes are of interest only to historians! It's hopped the twig! It's shuffled off this mortal coil! It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This.... is an EX-PARROT!
Owner : (hurriedly) Sorry, we're closin' for lunch...!
Mr. Praline : Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot, what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner : Oh yes, the, ah, the Norwegian Blue... What's, ah... W-what's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline : I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Owner : No, no, 'e's ah... he's resting.
Mr. Praline : Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner : No no, h-he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!
Mr. Praline : Restin'?
Owner : Y-yeah, restin.' Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, isn't it, eh? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline : The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead!
Owner : Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline : All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up!(shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Polly! Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you wake up, Mr. Polly Parrot...
Owner : There, he moved!
Mr. Praline : No, he didn't, that was you pushing the cage!
Owner : I never!!
Mr. Praline : Yes, you did!
Owner : I never, never....
Mr. Praline : 'ELLO POLLAAAAAAAY! POLL-EE! POLLY PARROT! WAKE UP!(He bangs its head against the store counter, horribly hard.) TESTIIIING! TESTIIIING! THIS IS YOUR NINE-O' CLOCK ALARM CALL! (He does it again, harder.) POLL-EEEEEEE!(He tosses it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor. Longish pause.) Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner : No, no.... No, he's stunned.
Mr. Praline : STUNNED?
Owner : Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline : Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
Owner : Well, he's... he's, ah... probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline : PININ' for the FJORDS? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner : The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on its back! Remarkable bird, isn't it, guv, eh? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline : (coldly) Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
Owner : Well, of course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its little pecker, and VOOM!
Mr. Praline : "VOOM?"(Praline puts the cage down and take the parrot into his hands.) Look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
Owner : It's not! I-It's pining!
Mr. Praline : It's not pinin,' it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he would be pushing up the daisies! Its metabolical processes are of interest only to historians! It's hopped the twig! It's shuffled off this mortal coil! It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This.... is an EX-PARROT!
The Argument - Monty Python
(A man walks into an office.)
Man: (Michael Palin) Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.
Receptionist: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
Man: No, this is my first time.
Receptionist: I see. Well, do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
Man: Well, what would be the cost?
Receptionist: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
Man: Well, I think it's probably best if I start with the one and then see how it goes from there, okay?
Receptionist: Fine. I'll see who's free at the moment. (Pause) Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory. Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
Man: Thank you. (Walks down the hall. Opens door.)
Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that...
Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!
Man: What?
Angry man: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!
Man: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!
Angry man: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!
Man: Oh! Oh I see!
Angry man: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.
M: Oh...Sorry...
Angry man: Not at all! (under his breath) stupid git.
(The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.)
Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Man:(John Cleese) I've told you once.
Man: No you haven't!
Other Man: Yes I have.
Man: When?
Other Man: Just now.
Man: No you didn't!
Other Man: Yes I did!
Man: You didn't!
Other Man: I did!
Man: You didn't!
Other Man: I'm telling you, I did!
Man: You did not!
Other Man: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
Man: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
Other Man: Just the five minutes. Thank you. Anyway, I did.
Man: You most certainly did not!
Other Man: Now let's get one thing quite clear: I most definitely told you!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: No you DIDN'T!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: No you DIDN'T!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: No you DIDN'T!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh look, this isn't an argument!
(pause)
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't! (pause) It's just contradiction!
Other Man: No it isn't!
Man: It IS!
Other Man: It is NOT!
Man: You just contradicted me!
Other Man: No I didn't!
Man: You DID!
Other Man: No no no!
Man: You did just then!
Other Man: Nonsense!
Man: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
(pause)
Other Man: No it isn't!
Man: Yes it is! (pause) I came here for a good argument!
Other Man: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!
Man: An argument isn't just contradiction.
Other Man: Well! it CAN be!
Man: No it can't!
Man: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
Other Man: No it isn't!
Man: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
Other Man: Look, if I "argue" with you, I must take up a contrary position!
Man: Yes but it isn't just saying 'no it isn't'.
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't!
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't!
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
Other Man: It is NOT!
Man: It is!
Other Man: Not at all!
Man: It is!
(The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.)
Other Man: Thank you, that's it.
Man: (stunned) What?
Other Man: That's it. Good morning.
Man: But I was just getting interested!
Other Man: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
Man: That was never five minutes just now!!
Other Man: I'm afraid it was.
Man: (leading on) No it wasn't.....
Other Man: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
Man: WHAT??
Other Man: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
Man: But that was never five minutes just now! Oh Come on! Oh this is... This is ridiculous!
Other Man: I told you... I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
Man: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.
Other Man: Thank you.
Man: (clears throat) Well...
Other Man: Well WHAT?
Man: That was never five minutes just now.
Other Man: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
Man: Well I just paid!
Other Man: No you didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I don't want to argue about it!
Other Man: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
Man: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!
Other Man: No you haven't!
Man: Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid.
Other Man: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
Man: I've had enough of this!
Other Man: No you haven't.
Man: Oh shut up! (Leaves the office and enters office next door)
Man: (Michael Palin) Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.
Receptionist: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
Man: No, this is my first time.
Receptionist: I see. Well, do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
Man: Well, what would be the cost?
Receptionist: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
Man: Well, I think it's probably best if I start with the one and then see how it goes from there, okay?
Receptionist: Fine. I'll see who's free at the moment. (Pause) Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory. Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
Man: Thank you. (Walks down the hall. Opens door.)
Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that...
Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!
Man: What?
Angry man: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!
Man: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!
Angry man: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!
Man: Oh! Oh I see!
Angry man: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.
M: Oh...Sorry...
Angry man: Not at all! (under his breath) stupid git.
(The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.)
Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Man:(John Cleese) I've told you once.
Man: No you haven't!
Other Man: Yes I have.
Man: When?
Other Man: Just now.
Man: No you didn't!
Other Man: Yes I did!
Man: You didn't!
Other Man: I did!
Man: You didn't!
Other Man: I'm telling you, I did!
Man: You did not!
Other Man: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
Man: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
Other Man: Just the five minutes. Thank you. Anyway, I did.
Man: You most certainly did not!
Other Man: Now let's get one thing quite clear: I most definitely told you!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh no you didn't!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: No you DIDN'T!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: No you DIDN'T!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: No you DIDN'T!
Other Man: Oh yes I did!
Man: Oh look, this isn't an argument!
(pause)
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't! (pause) It's just contradiction!
Other Man: No it isn't!
Man: It IS!
Other Man: It is NOT!
Man: You just contradicted me!
Other Man: No I didn't!
Man: You DID!
Other Man: No no no!
Man: You did just then!
Other Man: Nonsense!
Man: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
(pause)
Other Man: No it isn't!
Man: Yes it is! (pause) I came here for a good argument!
Other Man: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!
Man: An argument isn't just contradiction.
Other Man: Well! it CAN be!
Man: No it can't!
Man: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
Other Man: No it isn't!
Man: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
Other Man: Look, if I "argue" with you, I must take up a contrary position!
Man: Yes but it isn't just saying 'no it isn't'.
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't!
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't!
Other Man: Yes it is!
Man: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
Other Man: It is NOT!
Man: It is!
Other Man: Not at all!
Man: It is!
(The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.)
Other Man: Thank you, that's it.
Man: (stunned) What?
Other Man: That's it. Good morning.
Man: But I was just getting interested!
Other Man: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
Man: That was never five minutes just now!!
Other Man: I'm afraid it was.
Man: (leading on) No it wasn't.....
Other Man: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
Man: WHAT??
Other Man: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
Man: But that was never five minutes just now! Oh Come on! Oh this is... This is ridiculous!
Other Man: I told you... I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
Man: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.
Other Man: Thank you.
Man: (clears throat) Well...
Other Man: Well WHAT?
Man: That was never five minutes just now.
Other Man: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
Man: Well I just paid!
Other Man: No you didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I DID!!!
Other Man: YOU didn't!
Man: I don't want to argue about it!
Other Man: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
Man: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!
Other Man: No you haven't!
Man: Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid.
Other Man: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
Man: I've had enough of this!
Other Man: No you haven't.
Man: Oh shut up! (Leaves the office and enters office next door)
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Political Game
http://markets.rasmussenreports.com/
You start with $10,000 and buy options on assorted political events. Going to try my hand, see how much I end up with by Election Day. Should be fun.
You start with $10,000 and buy options on assorted political events. Going to try my hand, see how much I end up with by Election Day. Should be fun.
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